Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
