yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
