hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
