i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
