i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
