I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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