Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
