my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
