I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
