Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
