It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
