Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I use my feet as sexual weapons
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
