I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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