ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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