i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize