ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
