Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
