yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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