omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
