is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
