i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
