Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I think my fart just growled at me.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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