Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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