The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
