Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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