Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
