It's like God shit irony all over that family
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
