so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
