How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
