Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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