Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
