does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
