Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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