dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
