Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
