She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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