Too much gin, very little bucket
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
