either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i can't believe i had my finger in that
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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