The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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