THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
