Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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