i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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