You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
