Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
