I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
