If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
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