Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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