I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
