It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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