do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
