if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
