u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
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