Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
She's the barista slut.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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